Revealed! Women's Biggest Sexual Pet Peeves

Any one of them can kill the mood.

By

Anonymous

 
Published July 24, 2026
A colorful editorial illustration uses comic-style panels to depict common relationship and bedroom pet peeves, including distraction, phone use, and other intimacy interruptions
Amanda Cotan

I hate the sound of chewing — not even loud chewing, just chewing in general. I have a friend who hates mismatched socks, and my sister despises drivers who back into parking spots. Dictionary.com defines "pet peeve" as "a particular and often continual annoyance; personal bugbear." We all have them. They are unique, deeply personal, and may not make sense to anyone else — but the disturbance they cause is very real.

It makes perfect sense, then, that we all have sexual pet peeves, too. Think about it: you are stripped down, naked, and vulnerable, and any little distraction (an unexpected move, smell, or sound) has the power to throw everything completely off track. Sure, we can all agree that farting in bed or body odor are universal buzzkills, but there are plenty of unexpected, oddly specific pet peeves that show up in the bedroom, too. I asked my girlfriends to spill their biggest bedroom pet peeves. Here's what they had to say:

Keep It Down

"Moaning, oohing, and ahhing feel inherently feminine to me, so when a man does it, it's an instant turn-off. It also comes across as fake and forced. I would much rather a man use his words and say what he means than try to sound sexy with a long, drawn-out moan or (God forbid) a grunt." — Ellen, 48, Connecticut

Do Not Disturb

"I am just as attached to my phone as the next person, but let's be clear about one thing: phones have no place in foreplay and intimacy. You would think this is common sense, but clearly it isn't. I was dating one guy who would stop mid-makeout session the moment he heard his phone ping. Even if he wasn't checking his phone, it was always on his lap or right next to us. Another guy I dated was a gym freak who was addicted to posting, liking, and scrolling fitness reels. He would grab his phone a little too quickly after we had sex. It definitely killed the intimacy, and I couldn't understand how watching other people work out was better than being present and cuddling with me. I now live by an unwritten 'no phones in the bedroom' rule." — Danielle, 46, North Carolina

No Questions, Please

"I know communication in the bedroom is a good thing, but I can't stand it when a man asks clichéd questions during sex: 'Does that feel good?' 'Are you almost there?' I can't explain why, but these, to me, are just ick." — Nathalie, 38, Massachusetts

Don't Copy-and-Paste

"One pet peeve I discovered in my early 30s was when a man I was beginning an intimate relationship with assumed that what worked for other women in his past would work for me. My body responds differently than those who came before me. He would move around my body as if it were someone else's, expecting her results to be mine, and many times the results were underwhelming. By my late 30s, those pet peeves seemed to intensify. Trying to explain to a man that what worked for him in the past might not be a winning strategy with me and my body was, at times, an awkward conversation to have. As I move into my 40s, I am proud of myself for holding my boundaries as intimacy enters the picture in new relationships." — Katie, 40, Colorado

Brush or Bust

"I absolutely cannot have sex with my husband unless he brushes his teeth first. He is accommodating and won't even initiate unless his mouth is freshly brushed. If we aren't home, a quick piece of gum will suffice, but yes, the breath must be fresh." — Mary, 55, Connecticut

Stay Put

"I have been happily married for nearly eight years, but back in my single days, I had one very big pet peeve: guys loved to change positions constantly. I get it, they don't want to be bored, or maybe they don't want us to be bored. But either way, I encountered way too many men who were switching positions and moving me around like I was a human Rubik's Cube. It takes time to find a rhythm, so when they switched it up too quickly, I just lost interest entirely. My only current sexual pet peeve? When we don't do it at all." — Shannon, 43, Connecticut

The list, I am sure, goes on and on, girlfriends, but at least we have each other to rant to, laugh with, and compare notes with.

Do you agree with any of the above? Let us know in the comments below.