Know This Before Attending Your School Reunion

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

By
Published August 01, 2025
illustration of high school graduation book and photos of momentos
Elisa Leiva

When the invitation for my 40-year high school reunion arrived in my inbox, I felt a mix of excitement and apprehension. Did I want to go? I had already been to the last three and they’d been pretty similar, except now we were even older.

There was a bit of anxiousness, but I realized how silly my insecurities were, so at the last minute I decided to attend — and I'm happy I did! It was a great opportunity to travel back in time by reconnecting with classmates, reminiscing about our teenage years, seeing how everyone has changed since graduation and gaining perspective on my past.

I highly recommend attending your high school reunion because nothing beats a milestone celebration with classmates who share your memories. If you've never been to one but are considering it, here's what you need to know before you go:

Dress Code, Check-In, Souvenirs and Donations

First, check the dress code. Some nights are casual, while others may be semi-formal with a sit-down dinner. After you check in to the event, you'll likely receive a name tag with your old high school photo. The tags are a lifesaver, especially if you haven't seen your classmates in a long time. We've all aged since graduation, so having a photo to jog the memory is nice. There will also be memorabilia for sale — T-shirts, mugs and trinkets with your school logo (some will already be included in your ticket price). If the items are affordable, support the reunion committee's efforts by purchasing something to show your appreciation. Some committees may request donations toward a reunion class gift to benefit school upgrades.

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

Depending on which reunion you're attending, you may notice some of the same high school cliquey behavior. The popular kids hang out at one end of the room, the cool kids at the other, while athletes and high achievers stay in their cliques. Most attendees at early reunions will be newly married, building careers and raising children. It's okay to share what you've been up to with classmates, but be prepared for people who must prove themselves by boasting a little about their achievements. There will also be some professional networking going on, which is normal. Be attentive, kind and supportive.

Fortunately, reunions get easier as we get older. Attendees are more relaxed and don’t feel the need to impress others. There are also fewer cliques and more mingling among classmates. Just be yourself and treat the reunion as a fun get-together rather than a competition between classmates.

Be Approachable

It's normal to feel nervous about seeing classmates you haven't socialized with in decades. Smile and make eye contact to show that you're approachable, even if your classmates remember you as the shy kid in school. Approach them confidently and start a conversation to see what they've been up to over the years. Get to know them for who they are now, not who they were in high school.

Avoid Negativity

While it's fun to learn what your classmates have been up to over the years, don't get bogged down in the negativity of others. Instead, be generous with compliments and avoid petty gossip. Indulging in rumors says more about your character than the person you’re gossiping about.

Limit Your Alcohol Intake

Although the cocktails will be flowing, don't use alcohol as liquid courage to approach people. Intoxication may lead to oversharing and irrational behavior. This is not the lasting impression you want to leave with your classmates.

Get Into the School Spirit by Participating in Reunion Activities

Expect plenty of good food, music, dancing, games, meet-ups and likely an entertaining slideshow of old photos from high school. It's the perfect nostalgic cap to top the event with laughter and reminiscing. Some reunions may also set up memorials for classmates who have passed away as an opportunity to honor them. If the weekend itinerary offers a group tour of your old stomping grounds, don't miss this chance to relive cherished moments from your school days. Participate in as many activities as possible to create new and lasting memories with your classmates.

Affirmation of Personal Growth

Reunions are an excellent way to reconnect with people who influenced your life while you were growing up and trying to figure out who you’d become. This affirmation of change and personal growth since graduation is not only enlightening but empowering. It's also a chance to make amends for past wrongdoings and initiate forgiveness.

I truly enjoyed my 40th reunion. We are older, yes, but so much wiser. The reunion was a clarifying moment of who we once were and how far we've come, having survived career changes, raising teens, divorce, empty nesting, retirement and the loss of loved ones.

Although most of us had already connected online and were up to speed on each other's lives, being together in person proved that our real-life connections were closer than on social media. There was so much laughter and a few bittersweet moments, knowing that with our ages, it may be the last time we see each other. For this reason, I'll never regret attending any of my reunions, and next time, I'll be among the first to grab a ticket for my 50th.

 

Have any of YOU ever attended a high school reunion? How did it go? Let us know in the comments below.

Marcia Kester Doyle is a Yahoo Life Columnist and the author of Who Stole My Spandex? Life In The Hot Flash Lane. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, The Independent, Stylist, U.S.A. Today/Reviewed, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, AARP, Woman's Day, Country Living, House Beautiful, and many others. You can find her at marciakesterdoyle.com.