Here's The Real Reason To Start Over In Midlife

I also gained insight into my resiliency as I encountered each challenge. Starting over requires flexibility. I switched banks, had to learn to live in a new climate that was harsh at times, and figured out how to move like a pro, living with few belongings and subletting. It’s normal to get settled and stay put, but I found that each time I completely started over, I found myself handling things with increasing ease, so I saw myself as more capable. Starting over is good for self-esteem.

2. You Get to Make New Friends

I make acquaintances easily, but forming genuine friendships is another matter. We’re all busy, but in our 20s, hanging out and going out were just so much more important than decades later. It’s easier now to say no to an Evite and yes to more sleep, especially when the hormones are plummeting. But starting over requires going the extra mile to ask a new friend if they want to grab lunch, attend a lecture or an art opening, or explore a store. It’s worth it. If you move to a new city, you’ll hear of other great places you’ll want to explore and possibly meet other friends as you do. When I became friends with a woman who taught yoga, she let me attend her classes for free (huge gift) and we’d ride the train home together for a bit, laughing all the way. We were from extremely different backgrounds. I got to learn about her culture and perspectives. It opened up some new understanding and really widened my heart forever.

3. You Get to Learn New Skills

I never intended to learn how a sink is put together, but in one of my apartments, I did just that. I kind of hated having the maintenance person come to fix things, so I often looked at YouTube videos to learn how to fix them myself. When I had a late-night endless faucet drip that was bugging me, and the solution was simply unscrewing things, flipping a washer over and, voila, it was fine … I had that rush of newly discovered capabilities. I learned some new organizational skills as I adapted to different apartments and developed the art of layered dressing/accessorizing, allowing me to transition from a downtown runaround job to an elegant uptown eatery with ease. Reinvention offers a motivation for adding to your skillset.

4. You Get to Have Novel Experiences

Vacations are filled with novel experiences, which is part of why they feel invigorating. Starting over usually allows for that. If you move, you get to explore new neighborhoods, which can be very vacation-like. In New York, I literally lived in 16 different short-term spaces. I put up various removable decorations, such as wall stickers or rugs. After living in California for so long, returning to the snow felt like a brand-new experience. I attended author readings and discovered various bookstores. I tried reading in different parks. Starting over can involve expanding yourself by trying a new sport or discovering a new hobby. We can do a lot online, but it’s refreshing and fun to fully experience something new.

5. You Get the Opportunity to Create Positive Habits

Along with all of these, one of my personal favorite things about starting over is that it is an opportunity to create positive new habits. I fall into routines rather easily. I also get attached to those routines so that even though I might waste time every day playing a silly game on my phone after lunch, knowing that if I dropped it, I could use that 20 minutes differently, I still do it. When you start over, especially in a new place, you get to consciously set all your routines up to serve you better. Living in all those different spaces, I developed a habit that I’ve maintained since, where I never leave a cleanup for later. Dishes don’t sit in the sink or on the counter. My bed is made soon after I’ve left it. I even created a new way of looking at my day before I go to sleep so that I wake up happy and not grumbling.

Starting over can be uncomfortable at times, but I've found that the gifts far outweigh the fears, each and every time.

Have any of YOU ever had to start over? Let us know in the comments below.