The Guilty Pleasure I Will Never, Ever Give Up

I know many people look down on reality television. I have heard the genre been called silly, frivolous, mind-numbing and brain-rotting. 

Admittedly, there are reality shows that probably can't be described as highbrow or thought-provoking entertainment but they are entertaining all the same.

I’ve always enjoyed people-watching in real life and these shows let me be a voyeur without worrying about getting caught staring or straining to eavesdrop on a juicy conversation. On shows like The Real Housewives, the women may reach their boiling point with one another, but I am just a fly on the wall (or in this case, the couch). Watching them argue incessantly in their designer clothes is quite relaxing. Especially now, when the world can feel heavy and frightening, it’s nice to spend time invested in something with low stakes. 

There’s also a psychological twist to these types of shows. Margaret Cullen, psychotherapist and author of the new book, Quiet Strength: Find Peace, Feel Alive and Love Boundlessly through the Power of Equanimity, explains, "The viewer often knows more than the show's participants. The viewers get to watch people lie to each other’s faces, make bad calls, and navigate situations you can already see clearly. It feels good to have information. It’s oddly satisfying to watch the mess from a safe distance." 

A Chance to Learn — Yes, Learn

While some reality shows are pure escapism, others can be thought provoking.  “As we watch people navigate rejection, jealousy, betrayal, winning and losing, something else happens,” explains Cullen. “Our empathy stretches. We find ourselves caring about people very different from us because their emotions are so familiar. Seeing the same fears, hopes and insecurities play out across many kinds of people reminds us of our shared humanity. Compassion follows when we recognize our shared humanity.”

I’ve been watching the reality-competition show Survivor since it began in 2000 and I still love it. The idea of average people embarking on an adventure, surviving in nature and challenging themselves to do things they have never done before is fascinating. I love that there is no script, just real people interacting with people they might never have encountered in their everyday lives. Sometimes they find commonality, or they share a story that touches my heart … and of course, I’m all in for the gameplay and backstabbing too!

Using Reality to Improve Reality

One of my favorite parts of watching reality TV is the sense of community it has created for me. Sometimes I watch with friends or my adult kids. If I can't be with them in person, I have lively group chats like the one for The Traitors. Even though we are all in our own homes in different states, while the show is on, we are together,  joined by a common interest. 

Reality TV gives us a chance to connect. The conversations aren't  deep or emotional — nothing about politics, job searches or family drama. Even after the show is over, our discussions may continue. 

We may get “heated” over who is playing a better game or or disagree about which player is the most annoying. But it's all in good, clean fun. We never really get upset or have an argument with one another when we discuss our shows. 

Join the Reality Club. No Guilt Necessary

According to a 2024 poll, about 79 percent of adult TV watchers in the United States watch reality TV shows. Some reality shows have been on for decades (Survivor is now in its 50th season), and new ones keep popping up. No matter what you enjoy — music, romance, adventure, cooking — there is a reality show about it. 

Like all TV shows, reality TV offers escape from everyday worries. But Cullen notes that the tone is different. Cullen says, “Reality shows aren't dark.  More like a soap opera with challenges. You get to know the characters and start to care what happens to them.” 

As for categorizing reality TV as a “guilty” pleasure, it’s important to acknowledge that not every second of every day needs to be productive to be therapeutic. “We call things ’guilty pleasures’ because we live in a culture that mistrusts enjoyment without a résumé,” explains Cullen. “If something isn’t improving us, optimizing us, or moving us forward, it gets labeled suspect. We have turned life into a productivity contest, where even rest has to prove its value. That’s how even mindfulness somehow became another way to work on yourself.” 

Finding a way to relax, de-stress and take a break from your everyday commitments isn't lazy — it's necessary Whether you choose to go on a long walk, read a good book or get engrossed in a reality show — there is no reason to feel guilty.

(One caveat, like watching a sporting event, it's easy to get invested in players on a reality show. You may root for some and despise others. But while it can be fun to comment on something shady in a private group chat, it's never okay to post something negative, derogatory or mean-spirited on social media or any public forum. Viewers are seeing an edited version of these people but they are real people, not actors, and there is never a reason to be unkind.)

At its core, reality TV is meant to be entertaining. Whether a show makes you laugh, cry, think, cringe, scream at the TV or send multiple texts in the group chat, reality shows are a good time. I won't apologize for being obsessed with my shows. I am ditching the guilt and grabbing the remote!